Waiting…

During these past 19 months, there are some days when…

~it feels like waiting will never end
~ I feel like I’m that crazy girl who dreams of my perfect guy (that really does exist)
~I want nothing more then to sit in my room and cry
~no one but Jake can make me feel better
~I can’t get anything done because I get discouraged, anxious, and my mind won’t stop wondering about all of the “what ifs”
~5 more months feels like an eternity
~I’m far more emotional than I ever knew I could be
~Cute songs bring on the tears

but…during the past 19 months, there have been far more days that….

~I catch myself smiling because I’m thinking about Jake
~I find yet another reason that I could never have anyone else
~I remember each and every memory we had together
~I get the perfect e-mail….yet again
~I’m more motivated than I realized was possible to become a better me
~I laugh harder at an e-mail/letter than I knew possible
~My heart get that twitter pated butterfly feeling through written words
~I get another surprise that he left me
~I realize over and over that I’ve got myself a keeper

Never did I expect this journey to be such a roller coaster but there is one thing that has not changed through everything and that is my heart.  I never wanted to be that girl that everyone thinks is borderline crazy…who is constantly talking about this boy that is thousands of miles away.  But…I can’t get myself to stop and I’m definitely okay with that.  I have something worth talking about and I won’t let him go :)